My friend Devin is the kind of friend everyone needs—the type who makes you feel like a superstar in any situation, no matter how disastrous. Bowl a gutter ball? Devin will gush about how your graceful arm swing would make any ballerina jealous. Show up to a party drenched in sweat after the gym? Devin will beam and say, “Look at you, positively glowing! I’m so proud of you for being healthy!” Slap on some makeup for a night out? Devin won’t just say you look great; she’ll make sure you hear it every five minutes, in case you dare forget. She’s a walking, talking human Pinterest board, with endless positivity pins.
Not only is Devin incredibly positive, but one of her greatest talents is her chameleon-like ability to adapt to any situation. She and her partner Brian moved in together over a year ago, and Devin instantly embraced her new role as “bonus mom” to Brian’s four kids, on top of raising her own son. Brian, a widower, keeps the ashes of his late wife, Nicole, on a shelf in the dining room—a shelf they’ve cheerily dubbed “The Death Shelf.” Alongside Nicole’s urn are the ashes of various pets that have gone on to that great big backyard in the sky. Devin, ever the respectful partner, often finds herself looking to Nicole’s urn for advice, as though she’s consulting a spiritual advisor. When one of the kids acts up, she asks, “What would Nicole do?”— expecting Nicole’s urn to whisper parenting tips like a ghostly Siri.
Dall-E Prompt: “Create an image of a whimsical green urn”
One glorious summer day, Devin and I decided to hit up a local winery because, well, wine not? As the sun began to set and the threat of hangry children loomed, I dropped Devin back at her place. She invited me in to show off some antique furniture she’d mentioned during our wine-fueled discussions. As we strolled past The Death Shelf, Devin nonchalantly pointed at an urn and said, “That’s Nicole.”
“Wait, that one?” I asked, pointing at an urn that was the color of radioactive green Jell-O. It looked more like a prop from a sci-fi movie than a resting place for human remains. My own mom passed away last winter, and her urn is much more... urn-like. Devin, unfazed, said, “Sure is!”
Still skeptical (because seriously, who picks a neon green urn?), I decided to investigate. I reached up, grabbed the glowing artifact, and turned it upside down like a curious toddler who just found a new toy. You’re probably thinking I’m about to say that Nicole’s ashes scattered all over the floor like something out of a dark comedy. But nope! The urn was empty—emptier than a politician’s promise. It didn’t even have that “ashes were once here” vibe; it was simply a glorified flower vase.
Devin, suddenly wide-eyed, gasped like someone had just told her pumpkin spice season was canceled. “Where did she go?!” she shrieked, her voice climbing several octaves. “We need to search the house!” And so, like a pair of frantic detectives in a very niche crime show, we tore through every cabinet, drawer, and dusty corner, desperate to find Nicole’s missing remains. I even attempted to crack the code on Brian’s gun safe, figuring maybe he stashed her in there for safekeeping. After all, nothing says “eternal love” like locking someone in a steel box.
Just as I was about to try the gun safe code for the seventh time (because why not?), Brian strolled in, fresh from work, and called out, “Hello? Who’s trying to break into the safe?” Apparently, the safe is linked to an app on Brian’s phone, so he’d been getting alerts every time I tried to open it. Oops.
Devin, still in full panic mode, ran up to Brian and blurted out, “Brian, baby, I’m so sorry, but I think we’ve lost Nicole!” Brian, now thoroughly confused, wandered over to The Death Shelf and pointed to a much more traditional-looking blue glass urn. “What do you mean? She’s right there.”
For a moment, Devin just stood there, blinking, as she processed this revelation. Then, her face went through a whole spectrum of emotions before settling on disbelief. “Are you telling me that for years I’ve been talking to this hideous green vase as though it was Nicole, and it wasn’t even her?!”
That’s when I lost it. I doubled over, laughing so hard I nearly became the newest addition to The Death Shelf. Brian joined in, and Devin, always the good sport, eventually let her shock morph into laughter, too. “I can’t believe I’ve been seeking life advice from a glorified flower vase,” she muttered, shaking her head. “And here I was thinking Nicole was just the strong, silent type!”
Still chuckling, Brian patted the actual urn gently. “Well, at least now you know she’s been here all along, quietly watching over everything. But I’ve got to say, I didn’t realize you were so attached to that vase.”
Devin, ever the quick wit, gave him a playful wink. “Maybe it’s time to start consulting the real Nicole instead of the vase. Who knows, maybe she’ll have some great ideas for redecorating now that the secret’s out!”
In the end, the vase was reassigned to its proper role as a flower holder on the dining room table, while Nicole resumed her place of honor on The Death Shelf. Life continued, with Devin remaining the vibrant, hilarious, and endlessly supportive friend we all need. And although she now knew the difference between an urn and a vase, she didn’t quite give up on asking both for advice. After all, a little extra guidance—whether from a person or a piece of pottery—never hurt anyone!
This wouldn’t be one of my stories without a few interesting life lessons, so here’s what I’m taking away from this experience:
Don’t Take Life Too Seriously: Devin’s reaction to realizing she’d been consulting a flower vase instead of her partner’s late wife’s urn is a reminder that sometimes, life is full of unexpected twists and mistakes. The ability to laugh at ourselves, even in moments of confusion, is an invaluable skill that can make challenging situations easier to navigate.
Communication is Key: The mix-up in this story could have been avoided with a little more communication and clarification. It highlights the importance of clear and open conversations in relationships, especially when dealing with sensitive topics like the memory of a loved one.
Adaptability is an Asset: Devin’s ability to roll with the punches and adapt to new roles and situations is a testament to the importance of flexibility in life. Being able to adapt to unexpected circumstances, whether it’s becoming a “bonus mom” or finding out you’ve been talking to a vase, is crucial for personal growth and happiness.
Find Humor in the Everyday: The story shows that finding humor in everyday situations—even those that might be embarrassing or awkward—can make life more enjoyable. Laughter is a powerful tool for coping with life’s ups and downs.
Value of Perspective: The story subtly reminds us that sometimes, we might be focusing on the wrong things or seeing situations from an inaccurate perspective. Taking a step back and reassessing what we believe to be true can lead to important realizations and personal growth.
Honor the Past, Embrace the Present: Devin’s initial intent to honor Nicole by seeking her advice shows respect for the past, but the eventual realization that the vase was not Nicole’s urn serves as a reminder to also be present and to connect with the living. It's about finding a balance between remembering those who have passed and engaging with the life in front of us.
Each of these lessons highlights a different aspect of how we can approach life with more grace, humor, and understanding when we make “urn-est” mistakes.
Fantastic puns, and love the life lessons!